A letter to my little brothers and sisters,
From the day each one of you made me a big sis – I’ve always taken on the role of fierce protector. You are mine and even being the shortest of you all, there’s not a bully I wouldn’t take on, a fire I wouldn’t walk across or a situation I wouldn’t try to scoop you out of. Try as hard as I might though- I can’t be your savior. As much as I want you to put your hope in me- I’ll fail you.
After Lucas hurt his hand in a ball game this season— he said he had two immediate thoughts- one) “dang, my hand really hurts.” And two) “Erica is going to be down here.” *insert annoyed baby brother eye roll*
While annoying and embarrassing and hollering at the top of my lungs in any event you are in, I believe is my God given right as the oldest sister….What he didn’t realize is he summed up- actually put to words what I hope and pray my legacy is. What I hope each of you thinks. “I’m in pain. Erica’s coming. I’m hurt. Erica’s coming. I’m in trouble. Erica’s coming. I’m heartbroken. Erica’s coming.”
Not because of what I can do or because I do it well or perfectly. Heck, you’re my siblings. You know I’ll fail you….because you know I can no more heal a broken heart as I can a broken hand. But holding your broken hand and heart in mine?? Pointing you to Jesus—the ultimate healer of broken hearts and aches and pains?? That I can do. That’s my job as big sis. I can be the first responser for you and lead you to the ultimate Protector.
As we’ve gotten older and roles have changed and reversed, I’ve watched you each step up and out in faith of who your were created to be. I’ve marveled as God has changed your stories and mine. I’m astonished at how capable you are- not because I didn’t think you couldn’t do hard things, but because in my mind each of you will always be little kids. The little kids I grew up with. My best friends.
But at the end of the day, my prayer is still the same. In fact, it’s always been my prayer, I just didn’t know the words. I pray you know, no matter where you go or how old you get- that there’s someone who will always come running for you even more then me. There’s someone who will never fail— and I praise God every day that each one of you knows His name.
As the second one of us siblings heads off to serve our country, my heart is torn wide open today. Busted wide open with worry and pride. Torn with so much love I can’t breathe and knots that make it hard to catch my breath. But the greatest thing is that the same God that literally puts the air in my lungs, is the same God I’m calling to now for peace and safekeeping for each of you today. If I do one thing in life right I hope it’s this- that you know I love you and will always come running. But even more than that my prayer is I did everything I could to point you to the One who will never leave you and loves you beyond what we can comprehend.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.”
Pictures by Cody Allen Productions– Thank you for capturing my family! ♥️ I’m forever grateful.